Tag Archives: thoughts on creativity


Close up of fish scales and a tail.

Age of Authenticity.

On the day of winter solstice 2020 I heard, Planets Jupiter and Saturn go near-overlap onjunct at 0 degree in astrological sign of Aquarius.
Some say it’s the official start of the Aquarian Age, in it each of us gets to live our authentic, unique Individuality.

Close up of a dried spider lily blossom.

Owning one’s Light may feel harder than to do so with Shadow. ( I struggle with it. ) However, to be able to allow Authentic in others, one must attain the both to a degree ( a living human probably ain’t equipped to fully grasp one or both, let alone stay grasped – and that’s alright ). And without such “allowing” becoming our main vibe perhaps, the idea of truly harmonious Human Collective will remain an elusive pie in the sky.

Jupiter-Saturn conjunct this close last occurred in year 1623 according to mainstream source.
You, on the other hand, happen only once in the history of the Universe. Fact.

Photos: Perfect is the Divine Design – fish scales / a tail and a dried Spider Lily blossom.
Fully functional, uniquely interactive, beautifully designed and irrefutably free.
Kinda like us humans.

Fact.

Yellow roses,and a book.

“It’s what you are meant to become.
It flies with beautiful wings and joins the earth to heaven.”

– a definition of the butterfly, according to Trina Paulus “Hope for the Flowers”

(For those of you using “translate” function, here’s what’s on the page in the photo:)
Stripe’s answer shocked them all – including himself!
“We can fly!
“We can become butterflies!
“There’s nothing at the top and it doesn’t matter!!
As he heard his own message he realized how he had misread the instinct to get high.
To get to the “top” he must fly, not climb.
Stripe looked at each caterpillar inebriated with joy that there could be a butterfly inside.
(End of excerpt)

While back I made a photo e-book called “Own Your Shadow”. It is for anyone who is aspired to become a butterfly – not that I am one, but I can say have achieved a measure of reasonably consistent creative flow that can weather the storm pretty severe. Think sitting in the eye of the typhoon and still not losing it.

In “Hope for the Flowers” there’s a scene where one of the main characters (a lady caterpillar) weaves a cocoon next to a fellow cocooner “for courage”. That is kinda what I wanted to do with my photo e-book.

Caterpillar, once in its cocoon, turns into liquid before forming itself into a butterfly. For us humans, to individuate – to become one’s own for lack of better words – the process, while highly individual, could get pretty grim. Validation and encouragement can be few and far between. I wanted to make something that is a reminder, that way over here in a small town, Far East, there’s a person who knows the trudge applauding your lone courage.

My dream has been to see the mass flourishing of individuality / creativity. It hurts to see a person expire with his/her unique gift unused. Hard to be truly fulfilled without it. I could be wrong. That was how it was for me.

Your purchase of the e-book (it’s a zine!!) will fund my creative endeavor which I commit to sharing with the world til I expire. If you know a soul or two who you may think would be benefitted from a little encouragement I offer, please let them know. It is very hard to be visible online as an independent artist nowadays, and your help in spreading the word totally counts.

Thanks for reading. Please have a marvelous day anyways.
Links: to the e-book “Own Your Shadow” and a postscript “Individuation is a bitch!!”.

Creative Process, May 2019.

Spanish Bluebell stamens and a pistil detail.
Bluebell blossoms and an art work in progress.

#Beautywillsavetheworld

Sumire Violet blossom detail.
Hyacinth dried petals detail.
Spanish Bluebell, stamens, a pistil, an ovary detail.

May 05, 2019, the day the last petals fell from the cherry tree outside my window, I opened a new bottle of red acid dye and dissolved a small portion in a tiny plastic container. It’s the beginning of a long painting process, starting with tracing of the previously-done drawing on the wrong side of silk stretch satin.

In the early part of the process, as seen in the photo below of a newly traced pattern, the piece would look quite unpromising. Being the only person who sees the potential in the work-in-progress, it is up to what faith I got left in me to bring the vision of what it can be onto the surface which, at least for an initial while, appears to be nothing but a far cry.

I’ve been driven to bring into existence the two-piece series I named “Spider Lily Red – Flare”. Will I still be going through this even if no one else in this world would dig it? (ouch!!) The answer is ever-emphatic yes.
I’d do it for the Beauty, the kind that is all-enveloping, synonymous with words like ‘Timeless’ and ‘Truth’, because It touched me again and again and again, in a way I do not know how else to say “Thank You” to.

Bluebell blossoms and an art work in progress.
Spanish Bluebells flower detail.

From Top:
Quote / hashtag by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Haven’t read the book though – I found it on instagram.
Photo 1,5,7 – Spanish Bluebell, captured macro in various stages of progression.
3 – Violet, bold and vibrant.
4 – Hyacinth, dried petals and the part that held the seed.
2 and 6 – ‘Spider Lily Red – Flare”, in the aforementioned initial stages, with inspirative Spanish Bluebells.

Individuation is a bitch!! – a postscript.

A Fishing Cormorant with Gardenia.

The wound of the unloved, is that of the human existence. – Peter Schellenbaum

A Fishing Cormorant with an Anklet.

After contemplating and experimenting on various available options (since May 2015), I made the first Zine, in digital format, earlier this month (November 2018).
It is available for purchase here at my web store.
Below you find additional info, in a form of postscript / artist statement. I will keep it short, sweet and straight forward.

Format

PDF – viewable on any and all devices.
Aspect ratio – 2:3 (as 35mm films – I felt it is the optimal balance for this issue’s gentle monochromatic look).
Put out independently – ie. outside the ISBN system – like a flower in the field, I’d say (smiles).

In the future I may make available in other formats / ratios, or even with ISBN. But for now, above is the middle ground I decided to place the book on.

That being said…my ears are open to your suggestions and requests, and I appreciate heads ups.

Grey and Grey

All photos were (re)edited in October – November, 2018.
Pure whites / solid blacks were mostly eliminated from the black and white images – they seemed too immutable to me. While editing, I was thinking of soft, understated sheen from graphite pencils, as the suitable range of tones for telling this particular tale.

Large Sized

Both in dimensions (1600 x 2400 pixels) and in file size (nearly 20mb for 20 pages). Images are web-optimized but left in high quality, in hopes they’d carry all the nuances I had woven in in those grains.

The subject matter – the psychological process of individuating – comes with much subtleties. I made a clumsy attempt at including, as much as possible, what cannot be adequately expressed otherwise.

Why this subject?

I made a journal post back in July 2016, with a line “#ownyourshadow, it’s a political act.” Felt strongly about it then, and still do to this day – as I continue to notice a seeming increase in reactivity among us humans, the kind that leaves us (figuratively) beating on each other, making us as a whole, weak.

This book is meant as a gesture, of my sharing hopes and encouragements, for the blossoming of us, the mankind, and the beauty of our individual uniquenesses, when fully owned, would truly unite us.

Are you Individuated?

Years ago I embarked upon an escape route from the state of deep discontent and ended up falling for the process itself.

In other words, I no longer care where I’m at on an individuation scale of 1-10. Try to figure that one out, I discovered thru trials and fails, I’d end up tripping on a type of self consciousness, which acts as an enemy to my creativity.

I only know, and talk about what I experienced. I intend to stick with the stance to the best of my ability.

Lastly.

I dedicate this book to a special friend who left the human plane last July, no doubt to be joined, on the other side, by her “partner in crime” – if courage motivated by love is a crime in this realm, by quoting from a book I found in her storage back in 1994, in Sun Land, California, where I spent a pivotal few, fortunate years immersed in desert sunsets and coyote howls, sensing there is, within myself a seed, I alone could water.

How can I believe there’s a butterfly inside me when all I see is a fuzzy worm? – Trina Paulus “Hope for the Flowers”

A Fishing Cormorant with Sun Flower.

Photos, all from the Zine, from top:
Career Cormorant, a portrait with Gardenia (2018)
Career Cormorant (Anklet) (2018)
Flower. (2018)

P.P.S. I am not a master marketer – in fact I suck at sales pitch. If you happened upon this page and think you know a soul or two who may like this book, please help me out by letting them know it exists.
Your support as such is muchas appreciated.
Thanks!!

Mimic.

A weeping peach bud detail.
A hand painted flower dress detail.
A camelia blossom detail.

A hand painted flower dress detail.
A dried ginkgo leaf detail.
A praying mantis waist detail.

A cherry blossom detail.
A hand painted flower dress detail.
A praying mantis detail.

A hand painted flower dress detail.
A sumire violet blossom detail.
A hand painted flower dress.

All recent images, photographed as winter turned spring, from top:

Photo 1 – Weeping Peach (Shidare Momo), a bud, blooming in still chilly early April.(… hence the fur cap?)
3 – Camellia, they drop the whole flower, as if letting petals go one by one like most everyone else is too cumbersome.
5 – Gingko leaf, curly dried. I think of details like this one, astronomical many of them, that I don’t get to have a look at, as every leaf dries with different curls, lit by ever-changing light.
6 and 9 – Praying Mantis, also dried, caught my eye while parking my car lightly resting on asphalt as a fine sculpture, because, it simply is.
7 – Cherry Blossom (Somei Yoshino), a sepal. At a park I discovered this year with three impressive cherry trees that attracts so many birds (they all chirp non stop) during 2 weeks of blooming, yet very small number of humans. Many days I solo-nicked*, spent time brings me smile recalling.
11 – Violet, also abundant at the same park as picture 7.

2, 4, 8, 10, 12 – Close details of Spider Lily Red – Flare 1. Drawn with nearly a hair of a brush, filling in bumpy edges to form smooth flowing lines. That’s how I attempt to bring the painting closer to the True Artistry evident in above images, knowing full well I will never surpass, which, defeat as such I mean, somehow makes my heart warm in all the right ways.

*Solo-nic is a made-up word I just came up with, so as to mess with other people’s language. But really, it’s the act of spontaneous lone picnicking I recommend to anyone with ears open, just so long as the land you’re about to occupy is safe and legally permissive.

Thank you for your visit!