Category Archives: Journal

Planet of the Brave

Dear visitor;
Happy New Year!!

Illustration of a cow.

2021 is Year of the Ox.

The photo is a rubber stamp print drawn from a picture of a girl cow, who “escaped on way to slaughterhouse, smashed through metal fence, broke arm of man trying to catch her then swam to safety on island in lake” therefore deserves a portrait drawn nice and pretty.

Source: “The Independent”, February 16, 2018 – no link / please copy the above sentence within “” and search engine it.

I added a lily in honor of the “Story of Ferdinand”, a little tale about a cow “they called Ferdinand the Fierce” who, “when he got to the middle of the (bull fight) ring he saw the flowers in all the lovely ladies’ hair and he just sat down quietly and smelled”.

Book: (1936) Munro Leaf (words), Robert Lawson (illustration). Many read-along videos on YTube (req. less than 10 minutes).
News Flash: Ferdinand existed in real life!! His name was Civilon and the bull fight – of no fight – took place in 1936. (Source: “Ferdinand – The True Story (2014)” – no link / please copy the….)

Come to think of it….the girl cow deserves a name, too. Why not call her Civille. Brave Civille.

Wishing you a Beautiful Year ahead,
from Civille and artista.

New Moon in Virgo

The year in review.

Ocean waves at sunset.

September 17, 2020.

Several hours before the moon to turn dark, I brought myself to my favorite sand dune, suited up in my swim gear, like I had been all summer. Mid day in the midst of September, temperature noticeably lower but water was still warm and inviting.

I kept myself pretty much out of the sea since Fukushima incident nine years ago and spent every summer in torment, pining for my ocean fix like I would for a long lost love but this year, after hearing some millionaire technocrat talk about nano technology embeds planned for regular humans like myself I made a decision that an extra plutonium particle or two in my snout wouldn’t be a big deal.

Rat and birds illustration.
Abstract artist at work.
Coffee cup with a leaf.

Usually this particular beach has chaotic white forms right at the shore giving me a clue about my whereabouts – as once in water, perspective changes and you become a minute miniature existence floating in the merciless energy soup. But this day it was a little different.
The shore break was nearly non existent. Smaller day I thought, and did not assess the current nor my physical prowess of the day.

Ocean worn found objects.
A sparrow on the zoo cage.
Fish scales close detail.

Over confidence boosted by over eagerness can cause an issue or two. Without realizing I swam out further than usual and not too long after I started to struggle. Exhaustion grew rapidly like never before and with each wave I had to duck my strength drained in heaps.

Then a thought hit me: this is how people drown. I recalled a news story about a recent mysterious drowning of an actress I had not known existed and my thinking, how could you drown in a ripple-less lake? Fear inflated instantly while my arms turned weighty rubber and I knew I was in trouble.
Then came another thought, this time with quiet, solid confidence I never knew I had:

I am not drowning here.

The next moment I felt the Guidance kicking in, and I turned on my back and floated to rest. But waves kept coming and I had to duck and duck and duck. There was only one other person on the stretch of the beach, and he, a surfer, was just getting in as I arrived, and was way over there to notice me.

Or so I thought. Few moments later I saw him walking across the shore closest to where I was as I called out “Help!!”, to which he responded swiftly.
Guidance strongly at work by then, and just as strong was the surfer who happened to be on the beach that day. As if automated I floated on my back again so as to receive help with least harm to this young man. He positioned himself between me and the horizon and gave several powerful pushes at my soles, like he would to a surfboard. Neither party said nothing, but the communication was in Perfect Flow.

Drying spider lily blossom.
Spider lilies blooming in the field.
Art work in progress.

What happened this day have been on my mind since. Thought about it many times where it went ‘wrong’ and what I can do in my future swim. I was fortunate, no doubt. Typing this I still feel my heart quicken.
Each time I go over though, this one point when I said “I am not drowning here” stands out as the pivotal one.
In my struggle I declared, intended from the very core of my existence. Calmly, firmly.
And with bottomless Mercy, Life responded accordingly.

Special shout out to Guidance, Mercy and the surfer I do not know the name of.

A bird feather.

Photos, from Top:
01: The beach.
02. Year of Rat rubber stamp, not quite there but I meant well.
03. At work, May.
09. Best picnic of the year – with my muse, red spider lilies, October.
10. The work, as of December 28. (Getting there.)
11. The best find of 2020.

Last Edited: 31Dec20

True North


Red Spider Lily blossoms, sea shells and paint brushes.
Art studio with a spider lily bouquet.

I was a child

of the sounding sea

love, that was stronger by far

in a kingdom by the sea

wind, blew out of the night
envying of the angels
never dissever my soul from
a love that was more than love

the moon beams, the stars rise
all the night-tide, the sounding sea –
bringing me dreams
of love, that was stronger than they.

Red spider lilies in a ray of light.

Pictures: Red spider lilies – how my muse looked this autumn. “We returned to vivify you.”
Work in progress: “Spider Lily Red – Flare 2”. Referential links to: Flare 1, Making of the Flare 1 in one post, and all the posts documenting the process since 2012.
Text: Poe “Annabel Lee” deconstructed/restructured, and pardon me Mr., in essence, 180ed.

Beauty will save the world.

This is a sequel to a post “Creative Process, May 2019”.

Pictures (counted from top):
The Beauties of the world – Spider Lily Petals, my muse (1,5,7), and a Spiral Shell (3).
Artwork named “Spider Lily Red – Flare 2”, part, process, acid dye on silk (2,4,6). (Flare 1 is done.)
Background / layered chicken scratches are a journal entry glued on a cardboard, done about 20yrs ago during my lengthy, and severe I might add, creative block. Thought “Garbage!!” but I kept it for there may be a practical use for the cardboard, not the things on it.

Close up of a spider lily petal.
Abstract drawing of a spider lily petal.
Close up of a spiral shell.
Abstract drawing of a spider lily petal.
Close up of a spider lily petal.
Abstract drawing of a spider lily petal.
Close up of a spider lily petal.

Sky Is Ours.

A bird wing and photographic prints of ocean horizons.

Photo: Your Horizons, a diptych (2016)

Truest Tears are those of Gratitude.
– My Dad

What is a “father’s day” anyways? All them special dates emerging from somewhere like a circus clown sprinkling magic dust upon us.
And what good would that do to mend our wings if the sky is, in facto may have been, confiscated from us.
We are all alike, and we are all unique. Submit to the latter and you’ll know we are also all alone.

Sky is ours. Future is not set in stone.
When you stand in your own truth withstanding the “uni” of the unique.
And look over there, see another one, and plenty more of us with our wings strong in the sun,
just and only then we will
bring heaven down to earth where it belonged all along.